Quali-Tea Puns for Every Mood

Quali-Tea Puns for Every Mood

I love puns. Always have, always will. Puns as an art form – yes, I said it, ART FORM – often get a bad rap for being the “lowest form of humor.” Well, that’s just another way to say, “You look like a person that knows how to have fun.” My high school English teacher didn’t agree – but then again, she never laughed at my dangling participle jokes, either. Pretty sure her idea of fun was eating sauerkraut from the jar.

But you, dear reader, know a good tea thyme when you see it. You clicked on this post because you, like me, are a glutton for PUNishment. Here’s a collection of tea puns for every mood and steep.

Mood: When You Need to Rock

A square divided into quadrants, clockwise from top right: the words "I'm a kettle head" in red, a hand making the "rock on" signal in black, a tea kettle in yellow, and a rock guitar with a teacup and music notes in teal.

Many people have the incorrect assumption that all tea drinkers are cardigan-clad grandmas that clack their knitting needles to the hushed whistle of the kettle. But, hey, tea drinkers are thrashers, too 🤘🏽 We wear cardigans, clack our needles, AND headbang to Iron Maiden, thank you very much.

Mood: When You Need to Laugh

A white cartoon teacup with a laughing face is on a purple background. The words above it say "brew-ha-ha."

When a group of tea addicts start bantering, the party gets wild. Expect the jokes – and tea puns – to start flying.

Mood: When You Want to Sport P R I D E

A rainbow teapot is on a white circle on a rainbow background. Above it are the words "LGB-TEA-Q."

Tea Puns and Tea Pride. Wherever you fall on the Tea Spectrum, you are steeped in love and support!

Mood: When You Just Want to Stir the Pot

A fake magazine cover for "Gossip: Spill It and Dish" has a tea pot and teacup on the front with various tea pun headlines.

Since tea was invented, people have been blowing off steam through the ancient pastime of juicy gossip. In fact, the Silk Road was the Twitter of ancient Asia.

Mood: When You Greet a Fellow Tea Drinker

Cartoon illustration of a park with bench, trees, table and umbrella, and sun. The words say, "have a brew-tea-full day!"

It’s like a secret handshake, but punnier.

Mood: When You Wish to Impart Wisdom

A chalkboard with an owl in one corner and a teapot in another says, "A TEAchable Moment: When you instruct a new loose leaf convert how to use a strainer."

People think we tea lovers are in a cult. Sure, yeah, there are tea ceremonies. And sure, yeah, we sit in a circle over steaming water. And sure, we collect a variety of rare herbs that we brew together in a boiling pot and – oh my god, am I in a cult?

Mood: When You Want to Party

White outlines of steaming teacups on a purple background. In front of them is a black square with a white kettle and the words "thirstea thursday."

Look, drinking alcohol and drinking tea really isn’t all that different. Either way, it’s possible to drink too much and then stay up all night.

Mood: When You’re Feeling Enlightened

A white heart with a pink mug in the center is on a purple background with the words "I'm puerh at heart."

I’m all about cleansing the soul with the healing power of tea. It’s the Puerh Life.

Mood: When You’re Feeling Introverted

A purple and orange chameleon sits on an orange teapot next to an orange teacup, all on a purple background. The words say, "I'm a chamomileon, just chai to find me."

As an introvert, this tea pun hits me on a cosmic level. Look, I’m sure your party is SUPER fun, but will your party have tea, cozy blankets, a pile of books, and a purring cat on your lap? If you answered “no” to any of the above, I’m off grid.

Also, I love chamomile AND chai. If the human body is made of 70% water, I think the other 30% is tea. Just sayin’.

Mood: When You Want a Stay-cation

A cartoon sloth sips tea on a bright pink background with the words "Today's Agenda: Nothing Matcha. Exactly how I like it." floating around it.

Sometimes you want to sit around, lounge, and do absolutely NOTHING. And, you know what? You absolutely should.

Mood: When You’re Feeling Flirty

The outline of a maté gourd is in the center of a red heart on a pink background. The words say, "Are you my soul-maté? Because we are meant to tea."

It’s a story out of a rom-com: Two people are drinking tea in a hip, boutique café. Mid-sip, they lock eyes, and in that moment they just know – the barista made a mistake and they got each other’s order.

And there you have it! A tea pun for every mood. Use them well and show your former high school English teacher what fun really looks like.

Various tea puns can be seen in the background. The overlay text reads: Quali-Tea Puns for every mood.

Quali-Tea Puns for Every Mood

Jenna Eliel

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