It’s like being in the front seat of a roller coaster: as you slowly inch your way up to the top, the anticipation builds, your heart is beating faster and faster. There’s no way you’re going to survive this and there you are — reaching the peak; it’s only downhill from here. It’s both terrifying and exhilarating. That’s what love is — it takes you on a high that makes you feel invincible yet fragile at the same time.
Sometimes in the midst of “I love you,” holding hands, and adventurous dates, you begin to lose yourself. When once it was all about “I,” it soon became all about them or “we.” Now that it has all fallen apart, where do you go from here? You begin to question yourself, your choices, and your future: who are you now without this person by your side?
Accept the Circumstances
It can be hard letting go of someone you love, but you should never be in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Romeo and Juliet had a love to die for — but can you really be in a relationship where you are not accepted? Whatever the reason, sometimes there’s a limit to how much you can take. While a relationship requires effort, it should not feel like a job you never asked for.
Remember why you are letting go in the first place. Everything happens for a reason and this may have been the best choice for everyone. Follow your heart — you are doing this for you.
Be True to Yourself
While some of us cry ourselves to sleep at night, others may feel empowered after a breakup. Whichever it is, it is OK to feel the way you feel. Cry away the pain, sweat out the tears with a jog around the block, or talk to your friends. Allow yourself to let it go and relieve all of the negative energy within you. Keeping it all inside will only make matters worse.
The more you try to live up to an image, the more likely you are to repeat the same mistakes. It’s ok to feel sad after losing the one you love but do not dwell so much on the pain that it begins to affect your well-being.
Think About Your Wants and Needs
This is a chance to start fresh. Like the New Year, make a resolution for yourself. Reconnect with friends you’ve lost along the way. Do something you never had time for. Take up a new hobby that will spark creativity and ignite inspiration.
Think about the person you want to be that your previous relationship was guarding you from. Now is the time to make your dreams come true. Being comfortable in your own skin and knowing what you want will not only lead to professional success and happiness, but also to a partner self-deserving of you. Confidence in yourself and your decisions makes you even stronger.
Do what makes you happy. You can go out with friends and meet new people or take time to yourself with a book and a cup of hot chocolate. Have a spa day or change your hair. You are beautiful and you deserve to feel beautiful. Remember all of the things you have going for you: your family, friends, your career. Find your identity again, appreciate the amazing person that you are, and look forward to what the future has in store for you.
Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place. I’ve always believed in soul mates, but it was only recently that I realized that mine was myself. No one deserves your love and affection more than yourself. Spend time getting to know yourself, figuring out what you want, and working towards your future — you will find happiness and a partner to enjoy it with.
Photo credtis: QuinnDombrowski, mikeossola, and 3twenty6.